People with social anxiety and their introverted cousins
People with social anxiety have a FEAR of social situations, social interactions and meeting people. This fear produces symptoms of anxiety which are sometimes severe, and people with social anxiety may become socially withdrawn as a consequence.
However, does the term social anxiety also apply to people who don't have such a strong fear of social situations and who have a milder anxiety about meeting new people?
Maybe not, if we are trying to define social anxiety as a specific psychiatric disorder, but probably so, if we are looking at a continuum of human behaviour.
One of the grey areas of social anxiety diagnosis is deciding whether a person has a "normal" degree of social awkwardness or whether it is a medical pathology.
I presume the severity of the anxiety and the extent of social withdrawal would be significant parts of that difference. But when is social withdrawal acceptable?
I know a significant number of men and women who don't accept social invitations to functions or parties, but not because they are people with social anxiety. Usually it is because they are sensible and managing their time well.
Or they may simply prefer not to go to parties and to spend time doing their hobbies or talking 1-1 with people. Does this make them people with social anxiety? I think not. They are more likely to be healthy introverts.
Only when the fundamental reason for rejecting social invitations is based upon a fear of the interactions and the people involved do I think they would be considered to be people with social anxiety.
Not knowing what to do or say in social interactions can lead to anxiety. Rachel has a 3 CD set that you can use, in your own home, to learn many of the essential conversation skills for meeting people. Click here for full details.
Meet the introverted cousins of people with social anxiety
Let's consider the difference between people who have introversion as a personality type, and people with social anxiety as a disorder. I'll use the personality types on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which is based on the work of Carl Jung, as a reference point.
According to the MBTI, introverts get their energy from spending time on their own, going inside themselves and thinking things through. They benefit from having peace and quiet in their lives each day. In order to stay healthy introverts need to take time out for solitude, regularly. They may also prefer to shun large social engagements because they find them draining.
How do introverts compare to people with social anxiety? Is social anxiety an unhealthy and more severe form of this preference for solitude but with fear and anxiety added? Maybe, but the line between the two may not be this clear cut.
I say this because if introverts do not understand the fundamental characteristics of introversion, and do not understand why they need solitude, they could feel they don't fit in our predominantly extraverted society. Could they then develop social anxiety because they feel alienated?
Indeed, many introverts as children can be negatively labelled by their extraverted parents, siblings, teachers and associates as "anti-social". What does this do to their view of themselves? If they hear this enough and take it to heart, do they become people with social anxiety?
Introverts can be pushed to play with friends instead of being allowed to sit and read on their own, for example. They can be disciplined for daydreaming and forced to focus on tedious tasks. They can be marked on their ability to perform in class in front of their college or university peers, when they do their best work writing answers in exams.
Does this contribute in any way to the development of social anxiety in people and particularly introverts?
Not knowing what to do or say in social interactions can lead to anxiety. Rachel has a 3 CD set that you can use, in your own home, to learn many of the essential conversation skills for meeting people. Click here for full details.
Could introverts be wrongly perceived as people with social anxiety?
Certainly introverts can feel they don't fit in. They can be considered secretive, withdrawn or negative by the more flamboyant extraverts. They can be called geeks, nerds and oddballs, when in fact they are being quite normal introverts.
Someone who wants to stay home on a Saturday night, or have a whole weekend to themselves, can be ridiculed by their class mates, colleagues or even friends. "What's wrong with you, you loser" will have been heard by many an introvert.
Does the introvert start dreading going to school, university or work when they have to interact continually with other children, students or colleagues without the recuperation time they need to stay healthy?
Could all this contribute to the development of social anxiety? It is certainly a hypothesis worthy of consideration.
However, I hope that people with social anxiety only receive such a diagnosis when their need for solitude has become a psychological disturbance rather than a healthy way of living.
Having said all this, it is clear that social anxiety is not the lot of all introverts. There is in fact a number of significant differences between a person with social anxiety and a healthy introvert.
Healthy introverts may be very emotionally resilient in their own space. They do not use most of their peace and quiet worrying about other people, or about people being critical of them, or experiencing anxiety. Instead they can be refreshed and re-energised by the time alone.
In contrast, the person with social anxiety, introvert or otherwise, may spend most or all of their quiet time worrying about the next person they'll meet, planning to avoid any projected negative consequences of an upcoming interaction, or planning to avoid social situations.
They may also be filled with the fear and dread of future social engagements. People with social anxiety may find that being on their own is far from peaceful; there is always a conversation to plan for, an interaction to go over, and negative thoughts to disturb them.
If healthy introverts have to go and meet other people they can do so without a major outbreak of anxiety. They may not want to go, they may not like to go, but their heart doesn't pound at the thought of saying "Hello" to someone.
Are introverts more likely to suffer from social anxiety though? Does being an introvert give them a predilection for the disorder? I don't know but on the surface this would seem likely to me.
Not knowing what to do or say in social interactions can lead to anxiety. Rachel has a 3 CD set that you can use, in your own home, to learn many of the essential conversation skills for meeting people. Click here for full details.
Why does any of this matter to people with social anxiety or introversion?
It matters to the people with social anxiety who are tortured by it.
They want to understand what is happening to them and why. They also deserve to be correctly diagnosed and to receive appropriate help.
Severe social anxiety can be a very debilitating disorder requiring psychiatric help and even hospitalisation. The teenage sons of two of my friends have had it this badly. One of them helped me write this article by talking to me about his difficulties.
On the other hand, there is a need for introverts to know that seeking solitude and time alone can be a very normal and healthy thing for them to do and that, in fact, their emotional health depends upon it. This knowledge can help them to fend off and deflect the unkind retorts that may be said about them by the "louder" members of our society.
The number of people with social anxiety appears to be on the rise. It is important therefore that we gain a clear understanding of all aspects of the disorder.
I welcome your comments and experiences. Are you an introvert? What is this like for you?
Are you one of the people with social anxiety? What is this like for you?
Written by Rachel Green. Speaker | Communication Specialist | Coach | Author
Rachel trains people in conversation skills and is an MBTI accredited trainer. She's also an introvert and a Godmother to a young man with social anxiety. She is neither a clinical psychologist nor a psychiatrist but has a degree in psychology, and experience in using mindfulness meditation for anxiety reduction.
She provides 1-1 coaching and group workshops using the MBTI. If you are interested in these please read the section on "The confidence to be myself" and email her on rachel@confident-woman.com.au
Copyright Confident Woman Australia, 2010.
NB: Any information contained in this article is not provided as an alternative to the obtaining of psychological advice from an appropriately qualified practitioner. Please seek individual professional help and do not rely on this article for the diagnosis of any psychological problems.
Rachel Green
Reader Comments (2)