Amy's social anxiety blushing cure

I know that many of you with social anxiety also experience blushing and a fear of blushing. So too do many women when speaking in public or even when simply being given a compliment or going on a date.

I thought you might like to hear about Amy, a 26 year old, and how she overcame her problems with blushing in front of people.

I’d like to say first though, that to cure your blushing you need to search for the best technique for you. There is no one right method that cures everyone. If there were we’d all be using it.

When I first met her, Amy said she could easily manage to speak to three people without blushing, being anxious or worrying about being looked at. However, she couldn’t speak in public to a larger group.

I asked her how big the group had to be before her problems became serious, and she said six. If I suggested to Amy that she spoke to nine she froze and was paralysed by her fear of blushing.

After her session with me, Amy wrote to tell me that she had ended up singing karaoke in front of 100 and was over her blushing. This is fact. Yes!

But how was Amy cured?

During her session with me, Amy told me that she had already tried visualisation techniques and positive affirmations, without success. She complained that these techniques weren't practical enough for her.

She had resigned herself to the idea that, "This is how I am", and "I'm never going to be able to speak in public without blushing ".

Sure enough, Amy did not find it easy to produce visual pictures in her mind. However, I discovered that there was a successful alternative.

Amy liked music and she could use this instead. What we found was that not only did Amy enjoy music but she could easily replay it in her mind. When she did her feelings changed remarkably.

I encouraged her to go through some of her favourite musical memories.

Amy remembered a particular time when she was sitting with her partner at the back of the Perth concert hall listening to a beautiful piece of music over a glass of wine.

As Amy recaptures this romantic musical moment you can hear her change: her voice softens and she relaxes. (You can hear this on the “Confidence for women in public speaking” CDs.) This was her trigger to help her learn to relax when talking to people.

Once she had identified this music memory all she had to do was to keep replaying it in her mind whenever she thought of speaking in public. It put her in the right frame of mind so she could face a crowd without any fear of blushing.

No, visualisations didn't work for her, but romantic music memories did. Overcoming blushing can be as easy as that, Amy proved it. It is finding the right trigger for you that matters.

If you are not quite sure how this works or applies to you, the "Confidence for women in public speaking" CDs are clear. They go through Amy's progress each step of the way until you hear her confidence blossom.

What a huge difference this made to her and her career options. She was over her blushing and had never before imagined it was possible.

But best of all this progress could be your progress. Think how wonderful it would be to be over social anxiety and the fear of blushing.

What are you doing to overcome your fears?

Comments

[Sue Rollond.]

I always look for the best in people. I don't look for the things that are negative, it is better if I build them up.
Sue.

[Rachel Green, Founder, Confident Woman]

It is so easy to look at other people and to presume they are in some way negative towards us. This happens a lot with people with social anxiety and those with anxiety about public speaking and blushing.

I like your idea of looking for the best in people. If we did this people would not seem so scary and we would be more successful at managing anxiety about being looked at.

Thanks so much Sue.
Rachel.

[Andrea Hills]

I still get dry mouth syndrome sometimes, but I focus on what I want to say and remember to speak slowly and clearly to start with and I soon forget all about any nerves and get caught up in the act of communicating. If I feel the cotton wool mouth coming on before taking the stage, I make sure I have water handy to sip if necessary (even the act of pausing and taking a sip can calm you). I find that remembering to smile as I talk also improves my own confidence and pleasure at being up there.
Andrea.