The self-confidence to say no to your kids.
The self-confidence to say no to your children is vital! Saying no to children can be good for you as their mother and good for them. It establishes boundaries for them. It reduces their risks. It helps to keep them healthy.
If you have the self-confidence to say no you are also being an important role-model for your children. They will also gain self-confidence in saying no. They will learn it is okay to say no.
By hearing you say no, your children can gain self-confidence in turning down bad invitations. They can gain self-confidence in making good decisions. They can gain self-confidence in looking after themselves. If they learn that mum and dad have the self-confidence to say no, they will know it's okay for them to do it too. What a gift to give them.
When you have the self-confidence to say no to your kids it is also good for you. It can increase your balance and well being. It can stop you from being taken for granted. It can stop you from running everywhere. Having the self-confidence to say no can keep you sane. It can give you some space. Some peace and quiet. Some rest. There are lots of benefits from having the self-confidence to say no.
There is plenty more to learn on this topic. Often the hardest people to say no to are the ones who manipulate or make snide remarks or are intimidating you. Do you find this difficult? If so, click here to grab a copy of Rachel's great CD set: "How to deal with difficult people without getting upset".
Self-confidence to say no your children - three examples.
Do you have the self-confidence to say no to school?
You are being ambushed to help out at your daughter's school on a regular basis. You are already very busy and stressed. Do you have the self-confidence to say no to protect your time and health? You feel guilty for wanting to say no. Guess what? You say yes. Now you find yourself exhausted. Why? Because you need the self-confidence to say no to extra work when your workload is already full.
Does this teenager have the self-confidence to say no to bullying?
A teenager is being bullied at her casual job in a fast food outlet. Does she have the self-confidence to stand up for herself? She is dealt with harshly by her boss. She is abused by customers. Her manager does not support her. Does she have the self-confidence to quit? Yes! Fortunately she'd gained the self-confidence from her parents to protect herself from others' bad behaviour.
Do you have the self-confidence to say no to your child's TV?
Your young son wants to watch the television. He is tired. He pleads with you. It is his favourite programme. You let him watch it last week. His voice is getting louder. This week, though, he is tired. Do you have the self-confidence to say no and resist his pleading? Yes! You know he needs to go to bed. You tell him this and turn off the television. He learns that mum has boundaries and that when he's tired he needs to say no to things and get some sleep. Good on you mum!
Having the self-confidence to say no is such a great skill to have. Do you have the self-confidence to say no to your kids? Do you have the self-confidence to say no to your children's school, friends and sporting groups? Do you have the self-confidence to say no to your mother-in-law, neighbour or colleague? Gain self-confidence. Say no.
Gain the self-confidence to say no and look after yourself. Gain the self-confidence to say no and look after your family.
Don't wait, gain self-confidence now.
Written by Rachel Green. Professional Speaker | Trainer | Coach | Author.
Rachel is the author of the 2 CD set: "Confidence for women at work", which contains more guidance on how to say no politely. Click here to get your copy.
Copyright Confident Woman Australia, 2009.
NB: Any information contained on this site is not provided as an alternative to obtaining psychological advice from an appropriately qualified practitioner.
Rachel Green
Reader Comments (1)
I have learnt to say something simple like, "I love you and I want you to be safe".
I have wondered about saying "I care more about you than Johnnie's mum cares about Johnnie" but I am not sure this is a good idea.
And what I'd really like to say is "Well Johnnie's mum is stupid then, it's a good job I'm your mother and she's not" but I don't!
Anyone tried any other answers?
Jenny.