Short skirts test self confidence

Self confidence is influenced by what we wear and how we present our clothes.

However, looking good is more than just the clothes we wear, it is also how comfortable we are in our clothes and how much we need to adjust them when we wear them.

How can you look more confident? By dressing comfortably and not preening.

It can be very tempting to try and copy what others are wearing even when it doesn't feel comfortable. Don't do this. It does not automatically boost your self confidence. It can make it worse. Just because the celebrities shine in a garment doesn't mean you will.

Instead, wear what you feel good in. Wear what you feel comfortable in. Wear what allows you to move easily and without being distracted by your clothes. Then you will look more confident.

Sometimes worrying about a short skirt, having to hold yourself in because your jeans are so tight, or trying to walk in high heels can actually undermine how confident you look.

Why? Because you are putting so much energy into worrying about these things that you no longer look relaxed and your energy becomes withdrawn from the other people you are with and on to yourself.

I used to wear skirts to work all the time. I started to notice that every time I sat down I paid attention to the length and position of my skirt. I would tug it down and readjust it to make sure it looked good. I didn’t want to show too much thigh, or worse still my crutch! This is what I call "preening".

Preening behaviours, such as these, stopped me relating to the person I was talking to and brought my own, and other people’s, attention on to my body and myself.

This may be useful if I am flirting in a club or looking for sex, but not when I am at work, coaching corporate men. I don't flirt with clients. I want to be taken as a smart woman with proven confidence skills.

We women can preen frequently. We are constantly flicking our hair back. We frequently pull our blouses down at the back so we don’t show our midriff, or we pull them up at the front so our boobs don’t pop out. We regularly readjust our skirts so they don’t ride up. Some women I’ve seen even adjust their bra straps in public, at work. Such self adjustments do not portray confidence.

Preening behaviors, such as these, can distract from what we are saying, the importance of our opinions, or the significance of the solutions we're advocating. They can also undermine how self confident we look.

What did I do about my skirts? I stopped wearing skirts and started wearing smart slim trousers. They look fully professional and I have to pay them no attention at all. My self confidence increased.

• Feel comfortable.
• Don’t preen.
• Look confident.

What can you do to present with more self-confidence? Do you look confident?