A lack of confidence: Do you display passive aggressive behaviour?

What is passive aggressive behaviour and how does it relate to a lack of confidence?

This question is very important. Why? Because when we have a lack of confidence we may, unknowingly, not speak out clearly. Instead of confidently saying what we mean, we may hint, or give non verbal signals of displeasure, or try to manipulate a situation indirectly. All these behaviours may be counted as passive aggressive behaviour, or, at the least, as passive behaviour. And passive behaviour is typical in women who have a lack of confidence.

If you want to develop more effective communication skills, and overcome a lack of confidence, then a good place to start is by understanding how you communicate right now. Do you exhibit passive aggressive behaviour and not even realise it? Do you appear passive to other people, even if you don't mean to?

Watch our video "What is passive aggressive behaviour and why do some women do it?" It's a light hearted discussion between myself and orthodontist Shelley Greenway. We give real examples of passive aggressive behaviour and communication from our own families. Can you recognise yourself or others in our descriptions?

If you think you do exhibit some passive aggressive behaviour, start to keep a note of what you do.

Here are some behaviours to watch out for:

• Not saying what you mean.
• Hinting.
• Asking indirect questions.
• Glaring.
• Falling into silence.
• Using a sarcastic tone of voice.
• Using a patronising tone of voice.
• Blaming others when you may have been at fault.
• Implying criticism but then denying that you meant anything bad.
• Giving non-verbal signals of displeasure.
• Trying to make someone feel guilty to get what you want. 
• Manipulating a situation indirectly.
• Sulking.
• Avoiding people.
• Denying responsibility for your actions.

These are only some of the passive aggressive behaviours that a woman with a lack of confidence may show.

Developing self-awareness is a very important step in developing effective communication skills and overcoming a lack of confidence.

Written by Rachel Green. Professional Speaker | Confidence Coach | Author.

Rachel is the Founding Director of Confident Woman Australia. She grew up with a mother who had learnt well the punishments for speaking out and thus adopted some passive aggressive behaviour. She had to work hard to overcome this conditioning.

Rachel is now the author of a DVD, a number of books, and 20 CDs including her popular: Confidence for women in public speaking.

She also speaks to groups of women and can speak at your conference or event on: Sparkling with confidence at work. This is an inspiring speech, hilarious, practical and relevant. It is ideal if you or your women want to overcome a lack of confidence or learn to be more assertive in speaking out.

Copyright Confident Woman Australia, 2012.
NB: This article is for your information only and does not constitute individual advice. Everyone is different. It is of a general nature only. It is not provided as an alternative to obtaining professional advice from an appropriately qualified practitioner. Please seek the help you need to overcome a lack of confidence.