Self-confidence visits the doctor
Self-confidence is vital. Take it to the doctor with you. Self-confidence could influence whether you get the right diagnosis or the best treatment.
Don't let low confidence keep you quiet. If you go with low confidence you may feel intimidated, fail to find out important information or provide insufficient data to the doctor.
Use your self-confidence to ask questions. It's OK to ask questions of your doctor, after all, it's your body, not theirs.
I had to be taught to ask questions. I was brought up to believe that it was rude to ask questions. My mum had low confidence when it came to asking anyone questions and she told me it was rude. I think, self-confidence or not, it can be dangerous not to ask questions!
For example, a member of my family was told she had high blood pressure. When I asked her how high it was she said she didn't know. She wasn't told. She didn't ask. How can she monitor her progress if she doesn't ask for the information? Whether you have self-confidence or not ask questions.
Here are some possible questions you might want to ask your doctor.
1. How confident are you in your diagnosis?
2. How many people have you seen with this problem?
3. What are the causes of this problem?
4. What are the side effects of this medication/cream/treatment?
5. What are the success rates of this treatment?
6. What alternative treatment options are there?
7. How can I prevent this problem from recurring?
Self-confidence can help you stay healthy or become healthier, by giving you the courage to question your doctor.
I've had some disconcerting experiences with doctors in the past when I've failed to ask sufficient questions. A low self-confidence held me back. Now I know better.
Read Hera Sandison's story of her self-confidence in asking questions during her breast cancer treatment.
It would be fun to wear "A Confident Woman" T-shirt next time you go to the doctor, wouldn't it?
What are your experiences? Do you have self-confidence in large enough quantities to ask questions of doctors? What kind of questions would you like to have the self-confidence to ask?
Rachel Green
Reader Comments (4)
What a topical posting!
I consider myself to have reasonably high levels of self confidence, but I've recently been floored by my treatment by a doctor - actually her nurse was worse! I called up today to report problems with my IUD and to say I would like to have it removed as I wasn't happy with the side effects. I was quite tearful and emotional during this discussion as I get very uncomfortable expressing myself around my health. I was hoping for a bit of sympathy. I got quite the opposite and was devastated. The nurse answered the call with a sigh. She asked me what I wanted and I explained that I was unhappy with my IUD and I would like to get it removed. She asked me about my symptoms and before I could get it all out, she told me it was impossible. Medically it may very well be impossible for me to put on weight because of an IUD, but it's not an unprecedented issue - there has been plenty of anecdotal evidence of this. She then asked me if I had spoken to my GP as the last three they had taken out had not resolved the symptom of dizziness. I explained that yes, I had had blood tests and I am in perfect health ie there is nothing else causing this.
It went on a bit, but finished with her sighing again and saying "what's your REAL name". I had given her my real name, but she had spelt in incorrectly in her system. She then told me it would be impossible for me to see the doctor before August.
I just wanted off the phone and out of that situation - I was emotional to start with, but devastated to finish and had to go and get a nice hug from the girls in the office.
So self-confidence does help, but there are some are really rude healthcare professionals. Why are they in so called "caring" professions?
Love Beccy
Today, I visited my new specialist and he was great as was his nurse. I nearly cried with relief on leaving the clinic. Thank goodness I spoke up, even though it was an uncomfortable thing for me to do. If I hadn't spoken up I would be facing months of going to a specialist that I don't trust and this would have created considerable mental anguish.
Wow that is some nurse, sounds like she was having a very bad hair day that she needs to keep to herself.
I have also had nurses who have been far less understanding than their Drs. I think they see so many horrible things they become hardened to people's issues unless they are life or death.
I was told to "toughen up princess' by one the other day, because I said I was cold!
I've found it really important not to pick up their negativity and if possible to break the tension with some humour.
She may not be a horrible person - who knows what tragedy or sadness she had dealt with that day.
And even if she is "a horrible" person don't pick it up - stay your gorgeous self and keep your self-confidence. After-all, it is your body and not hers. It is your decision and not hers. They are your feelings and not hers.
If you can't get in until August, I'd be trying somewhere else, or try the same place again and hope you get a different person. There may always be a cancellation.
Also, if you are clear you want your IUD removed - it may be easier if you don't go into the reasons why on the phone.
It sounds like she was arguing with you about the reasons not about having the IUD removed.
This is a common problem when trying to be assertive - if you simply state what you want to happen without reasons people may argue with you less than when you give reasons.
If you don't want more children have you thought about having your tubes tied instead?
If you have other health issues which are upsetting you, e.g. it sounds like weight gain and dizziness are possible problems from what I have read, have you thought about getting input from a different Dr? Also have you sought input from someone who is excellent in the so called "alternative medicine" field? I go to a brilliant herbalist who has made enormous improvements to my health when the Drs couldn't, so I go to both.
Keep your self-confidence Bec.
Blessings
Rachel.
Gone are the days when we must put Drs on pedestals and not question their judgement. They are human and have biases, and make errors like all people.
There are some brilliant Drs and it is worth finding them. I have had two absolutely superb GPs, for instance, Drs Judy Craig and Jim Goodbourne, sadly both now not practising as far as I know. They listened to me, cared for me and were sensitive to my needs, AND were accurate with their medical diagnostics and treatments.
I have also had a dreadful one and some mediocre ones.
Keep on standing up for what you need and keep your self-confidence.
Blessings
Rachel.