Gain confidence: How to be taken seriously and win respect
Gain confidence at work and win respect. Of course, if you want to be taken seriously the first step is to make sure you treat yourself and your ideas with respect.
However, here are some tips to help you gain respect and be taken seriously by others.
Gain confidence tip 1: Make sure your voice, vocabulary and non-verbals all give the same message.
If you say something clearly and use a timid voice, without eye contact, it is unlikely that people will believe what you say. Instead, make sure that your voice sounds confident, that your words are confident and your body looks confident, all at the same time. People are more likely to treat you with respect when you do, and this will help you gain confidence too.
Are you giving out mixed signals? Learn how to convey an aura of confidence with our 2 CD set "Confidence for women at work".
Gain confidence tip 2: Smile only when pleased; don't smile when displeased.
Some women smile even when they are angry, as if trying to please others at the same time as trying to say they are angry. This is unlikely to help people take your feelings seriously. Make sure your facial expression fits the emotion you are conveying. For example, have a firm facial expression when you are firm, serious and determined; smile when happy.
When you have the confidence to be clear about your emotional expression people will no longer be confused about the message you are conveying. Congruent facial expression can gain respect. As you are given more respect then you can gain confidence as well.
Gain confidence tip 3: Use your full name.
A diminutive name, for example, Kitty instead of Katherine, may sound like a child's name. This may reduce the seriousness with which someone approaches you in business or work situations.
Use your full name: Susanne rather than Susie, Georgina rather than Georgie, and Elizabeth rather than Lizzy. Gain respect – gain confidence.
Gain confidence tip 4: Control your voice: have depth and firmness.
Try to reduce the number of times your voice rises at the end of a sentence, (unless you are asking a question).
A rising end to a sentence can sound as though you are unsure of what you are saying, or that you are very young, or that what you say is optional. When your voice rises in pitch your ideas are less likely to be treated with respect.
Sound confident with falling inflections and you are more likely to sound sure of yourself and be taken seriously. When you sound confident you develop a positive feedback mechanism and gain confidence too.
When conversing, are you finding that people are not taking you seriously? Learn how voice delivery can make all the difference with our 2 CD set "Confidence for women at work".
Gain confidence tip 5: Stand your ground.
If you are saying something in a meeting, and you are challenged by someone else, do not automatically back-down or go quiet. This could be your opportunity to stand your ground and convince the other people you are correct. The challenge is your opportunity to provide further evidence to substantiate your ideas and opinions. This can win you respect.
Backing down may leave you looking weak, (unless, of course, you are wrong and are graciously saying so). Be willing to stick to and explain your point and this could gain you respect. It will also help you gain confidence.
Gain confidence tip 6: Have a sense of humour and be able to laugh at yourself.
If you always take yourself very seriously, if you take things personally, if you are unable admit to and laugh at your mistakes, you may lose people's respect.
Someone who is confident is able to laugh at their mistakes, and at themselves, and to see the funny side of life. Be willing to laugh at yourself and you will win the respect of many people.
For example, if you want to give confident presentations and you can laugh at yourself then you no longer need to fear the audience laughing at you.
Gain confidence tip 7: Say "No, thank you" politely and have boundaries.
Saying "Yes" to all requests or demands made of you does not automatically win you people's respect. It can lead to your being taken for granted and being considered a "yes" woman.
In contrast, if you can turn down inappropriate requests or demands placed upon you, and say "No, thank you" politely, then you may win respect. You may certainly gain confidence when you do this.
Do not let other people wear you down until you say "yes", when you need to say "no". Protect your boundaries when you need to and be clear about what you will and will not do, and be taken seriously. Gain confidence by being clear.
Do you find yourself doing things that you don't want to do because you couldn't say "No"? Learn how to say "No" confidently and politely with our 2 CD set "Confidence for women at work".
May you gain the respect you deserve and abundantly gain confidence.
Written by Rachel Green: Motivational Speaker | Communication and Networking Specialist
Rachel is the Founding Director of Confident Woman Australia and the author of 20 CD sets, including the 2 CD set "Confidence for women at work".
She provides dynamic and sparkling workshops and speeches on confidence for women and can come to your workplace or organisation to talk to your women's groups. Would you like your employees to be confident, to have the self-esteem and the self-belief to get the jobs done well? Even the difficult ones? Let Rachel show them how to have self-confidence at work. Read all about her workshop here: Self-confidence at work.
Copyright Confident Woman Australia, 2010.
NB: This article is not provided as an alternative to obtaining professional advice from an appropriately qualified professional. Please seek the help you need to build your self-confidence at work.
Rachel Green
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