Self confidence invades meeting space
Self confidence is important at work across many different activities. People will watch what we do to decide how confident we are. They then use this information to decide how much credence to give to what we say or do. This is particularly so in meetings.
How can you look more confident at work? By taking up space. Whether you are standing or sitting take up space to project self confidence.
Women with self confidence are not afraid to be seen. They take up space whether at a meeting, sitting in a job interview, talking to the boss, or receiving feedback. Take up space and look confident.
Some women, when they are low in self confidence, wrap their legs around themselves, slump their shoulders, cross their arms over their chests or try, in some way, to hold themselves in and restrict themselves.
It's as if they are apologising for themselves or the space they may use. They project this apology to others and seem to say, “I’m sorry I exist, I’ll try not to take up too much space. I know I don’t deserve it.”
Is this what you do in meetings?
If you watch men in a meeting they often take up a lot of space, as a matter of course.
The women in contrast may not. Women are usually already smaller than the men. They are then in danger of becoming even smaller by taking only a small percentage of the space that is available to them.
What do I mean by taking up space? I don’t just mean shove your boobs out, or do what some men do and thrust their pelvis forward. It can be far more subtle than that.
What I mean is that you:
- Have breadth across your collar-bones and shoulders, so you take up space width ways.
- Stand and sit tall, to your full height, instead of sagging in the middle. In this way you take up space vertically.
- Use both legs equally without twining them round each other, or standing on one leg and not the other.
- Comfortably use your arms and gesture instead of holding your hands tightly on your lap. In this way you take up space in front of you.
- Sit in a meeting with items of yours on the desk in front of you. This ensures you claim part of the table space as yours.
- Place your elbows slightly to the side of you when sitting around a table in a meeting. This allows you to claim the space on either side of you and stops others encroaching on your space.
- Breathe deeply and reclaim all the space in your lungs. Thus, you utilise the air fully from the space all around you.
I remember the time when I went to a meeting and I was late. There was only one chair left. It was at the corner of a table and I was squeezed between two large blokes. I had to squeeze my shoulders in and squash myself up, to simply be there.
I could feel that the lack of space I was given affected my self-confidence. It was harder for me to be seen and thus, I found it harder to speak out.
I was quite convinced that it also wasn’t as easy for other people to take me, or my contribution, seriously when I was so restricted in space.
I vowed after that never to be late for a meeting!
- Take up space.
- Look confident.
- Speak out.
What can you do to present with more self confidence in meetings?
Watch this video for more ideas on how to speak confidently at meetings.
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Reader Comments (4)
Yes it is good if we can know how, as women, we may undermine ourselves by the way we sit and stand, so that we can display more self-confidence when we wish. I have seen women look very apologetic in their bodies so that they increase their chance of being ignored. This site is about helping women be their absolute best and taking up space can be one step towards this for some women.
I have also seen some women adopt very aggressive stances and be intimidating, and I have seen some men who are also shy and exhibit a lack of confidence.
I don't want to put down men. I work with (and live with) men. Sometimes insecure men and men who lack confidence may adopt certain traits to try and survive on the terrace. They may also cover up their lack of confidence with "bravado". Many of them do seem to know how to take up space though, don't they!
Keep on shining with self-confidence
Rachel.
When the CEO of an organisation is a head kicking thug then we can only expect the younger guys to learn that this is how they too should behave.
When the CEO works incredibly long hours and uses bad language this is what the younger guys also do.
When the CEO treats everyone with respect and equality then this is what the younger guys will also learn is important.
David.
No one can take those previous moments away from you, yet the emotion memory, how you felt at the time, can be easily recalled into today to boost your current confidence.
There is something that each of us does really well, if we focus on how we feel doing that we can change inside and people around us will sense a change. Self judgement does not work here as no one is to know what it is that you do well, just recall how you feel when completing that activity. Say ‘Yes’ to yourself ‘I am’ confident, deserving of recognition, have knowledge or experience, have a right to be here, able to express myself.
Mary at Maximumstretch.com