Build self-confidence with gratitude.

Self-confidence techniques vary. However, one technique that I find particularly helpful in building my self-confidence is practising gratitude.

How can gratitude build self-confidence? By changing our focus of attention. It moves our attention away from problems, errors and bad events. It is a focus on these that can lower our confidence.

Gratitude then moves our focus onto aspects of our lives which are going well, onto our gifts and strengths and the kind acts that are done for us. It is this positive focus which helps build confidence.

Here are three key steps on how to practise gratitude to build your self-confidence.

Step 1. Build self-confidence by focusing on what you have.

Too often in our lives we focus on what is missing or what we don’t have. This can spiral us down and lower our confidence until we feel inadequate or incomplete.

Instead, practise gratitude and focus on what you do have and express grateful appreciation for it.

For example, you might appreciate your eyes for seeing, your ears for hearing, your legs for moving easily or thank any other aspects of your body which work well. In this way you can build your confidence and feel better about your body.

You can do this step with any aspect of your life. Whether it’s being grateful for your possessions, your home, family members, friends, hobbies, work, food in the fridge,  ... whatever you do have, notice it, and be thankful.

The more thankful you are for what you do have the more you can build your confidence. You will realise just how much you do have.

Step 2. Build self-confidence by noticing what's right and being thankful for it.

It’s very easy to go through the day and notice what’s gone wrong. Sadly, this can make us feel bad and lead us to spiral down into negativity. A loss of confidence can then easily follow.

Instead, start to notice what has gone right. It may be that someone un-jams the photocopier for you, that you have time for your favourite cup of tea or that a flower has come out in your garden. By noticing what’s gone right, and appreciating this you can help to build your confidence.

However, in order to build your confidence, don’t just notice what’s gone right, also appreciate it. Gratitude is a feeling of grateful appreciation. Once you notice something good, express your gratitude to it, say thank you, acknowledge how grateful you are for it.

When you focus your attention with gratitude you can feel good about your life. In this way you can build your confidence.

When you appreciate the things that go well your confidence will be receiving regular boosts.

Step 3. Build self-confidence by being grateful for what people do for you.

When we have a loss of confidence we can feel alone, isolated or unwanted. All these feelings can make our lack of confidence grow until we feel depleted and worthless.

However, practising gratitude can completely turn this around so you can build your confidence up again.

How does this work? Start to notice all the things that people do for you. Not just close friends, family and work mates, but people that you don’t even see or know.

For example, when you want to read in the evening and you switch on the light, you might start to reflect on all the people who have made it possible for you to have electricity in your home.

I’ve just been through a major power failure and know how hard it is to run a life without it. I couldn't even dry my hair with my hairdryer!

Express grateful appreciation for your electricity, running water, sewerage works, garbage collection, shop keepers who stock food for you, postal workers who process your mail; there are so many people in your life who do things for you. 

Express gratitude for all that they do and this can help build your confidence. You’ll start to realise what a large number of people are working to make life easier for you. This can help you feel more supported.

In summary: How to build confidence with gratitude.

• When you focus on feelings of gratitude for all that you have you can build your confidence.
• When you notice and appreciate all that goes right you can build your confidence.
• When you value all that is done for you, you can build your confidence.

How grateful are you? Practise gratitude now. It’s a key tool in a great set of confidence techniques. Don’t live your life without it. Build your confidence.

Written by Rachel Green: Motivational Speaker | Confidence Coach | Founding Director Confident Woman Australia.

Rachel is the author of 20 CDs including "Happy not hassled: Easy meditations to manage your emotions and find contentment". This CD set includes an invaluable description of an exercise in loving-kindness meditation. It is a way of practising a feeling of love, gratitude and kindness towards yourself and others.

Rachel personally practises this loving-kindness meditation most days - as a result, positive emotions arise in her helping to keep her happy and confident! It sure beats negativity, anger and anxiety. Try it and watch the positive results it brings into your life. There are other meditations on the 2 CDs too to help you find peace and calm in your life. It is much easier to build your confidence when you are feeling relaxed and calm, isn't it? You can gain your "Happy not hassled" CDs here.

Copyright Confident Woman Australia, 2011.
NB: This article is not provided as an alternative to obtaining professional advice from an appropriately qualified professional. Please seek the help you need with your confidence techniques.