Self-confidence: Mentors make a critical difference
Self-confidence can come from having a mentor. Mentors can make a critical difference to what you do and how you do it and this impacts on your self-confidence. Simple! Except you have to find some!
Do you have a mentor who helps you develop greater self-confidence? The people you surround yourself with matter. The people you look up to, talk to and identify with can lead you to a positive life direction of greater self-confidence or a negative one of low confidence.
People can help you advance your potential and self-confidence or encourage you to stay stuck where you are.
Mentors are people you can look up to, people who have succeeded in ways that you want to. They are people who act in ways that show you what is possible and which encourage you to take bigger steps in your life than you might otherwise do.
Who are your mentors? Who do you look up to for inspiration? What types of people do you surround yourself with? What role models help you build greater self-confidence?
If you want greater self-confidence don't just sit back and wish there were better people in your life. Actively look out for mentors.
Where can you find them? Who makes a suitable mentor?
Mentors don't need to be people you know personally, they may just be people you know of or about. They may be people you see in the media. They may be community leaders, celebrities or sports stars. They may be people with self-confidence that you admire. All that matters is that you know something about them that inspires you to greater self-confidence.
For example, Hiliary Clinton inspires me to greater self-confidence. Not because of her political viewpoints but because at the age of 59 she decided to run as President of the USA. Wow! At 59, she is going for the top job.
I am 56. I'm of an age where many women want to stop work and wind down or who say "I'm too old to do that."
Where is their self-confidence? I want greater self-confidence than that, thank you very much!
Thus, I need to have role models of older women who show me that age is not a barrier and that we can still take on the world with self-confidence. If I give into the stereotypical late 50s woman I will fail to reach my potential.
Hiliary Clinton inspires me to keep going whatever my age (or hormonal status). She shows me what is possible. She helps me override the self-limiting beliefs and low confidence of many other women of my age.
I once heard a woman in her 50s say she was too old to learn the computer. How is that for low confidence? I need greater self-confidence than that. Can you imagine Hiliary Clinton saying such a thing? Hilary Clinton reminds me what is possible.
I will talk in further blogs about other mentors I have and how to gain greater self-confidence from them. For now go looking! Actively look out for mentors who already have self-confidence and can inspire you to have more.
You can hear more about the value of mentors from Monika on our 2 CD set "Confidence for women in social situations and life in general".
Do you have a mentor? Tell us who she or he is. Tell us how this person helps you gain greater self-confidence.
Rachel Green
Reader Comments (2)
Other mentors of mine include:
Alyssa Milano, I admire for her strength of character, good will, personality, philanthropy and standing up for the things which really matter in life, which I find a very rare quality in celebrities. She is more than a celebrity, she is a wonderful human being, which I personally think is more important that celebrity status.
Rose McGowan - I admire Rose McGowan for her natural honesty of speaking her mind, confidence and standing up for oneself. I use to be of a similar nature, until I had this quality suppressed out of me, through intimidation and fear tactics from people who I thought I could trust, which caused me to gradually lose faith in myself and others and made me afraid of the world.
For years I have lived in silence and believed that freedom of speech and standing up for yourself to bullies didn't exist and you have to know your place and if you ever defy the rules, there are consequences. Years later and being a lot older, I now know better. Learning from mentors such as Rose McGowan, I have learnt, there is nothing wrong with being who you are. It doesn't matter what other people think, just never forget who you are.
I just wish I knew sooner, my only regrets are, I was bullied, and I let them get away with it, not knowing at the time I could have done more about it. On the upside, being bullied has eventually made me a stronger person. It's taken a long time to pick up all the broken pieces of the puzzle and re-build my self-confidence and self-esteem, but like humpty dumpty, we all have to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and start again! It just takes time.
We all go through difficult times! Which are why mentors are great in reminding us of who we were and can be. As long as you believe it, nothing else matters! So always believe in yourself!
My most important mentors in my life, have to be my father and grandfather, who I still look up to even today! They have taught me, to always be a good person and treat people as you wish to be treated. To them, I owe a lot and I am thankful for them being a part of my life. I wouldn't be who I am today, if it wasn't for them.
So thank you to all my mentors, even the ones I didn't mention!
How wonderful of you to share your mentors and how positive they have been for you. I find your letter inspiring and I will go and read more about these people.
It would be great to hear from other women too - tell us who your mentors are.
Blessings Rachel.