Building confidence: Learn from the locals
I was listening to the recent release of the Census figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics. They stated that Australia now has women from over 200 different countries living here. What they didn't mention were the confidence skills and techniques these women would need in order to live happily and easily here.
If you've been born in Australia and grown up here it's probably hard to imagine what it's like to migrate here from another country. It can seem so easy on the outside. It isn't necessarily the case. It can require massive courage and self-confidence.
I had no idea there were so many different countries represented, how wonderful.
Rachel is the author of the 2 CD set, "Confidence for women in social situations". You will hear amazing interviews with a number of Australian women from a variety of backgrounds, including Greek South African, Ukrainian, Polish, British and Pakistani. Click here to get your copy now.
Building confidence for two types of migrant women
Who are the migrant women in this country? I think there are two types and both need confidence skills to survive here and prosper.
A significant percentage of the women who arrive here, and I am one of these types, come from a similar country that speaks some form of English and has a related culture. I say some version of English because when I migrated I thought it would be so easy to understand everyone, as I came from England. How wrong I was.
There is no way that Australian English is the same as English English, and worse still Northern England English. For example, a lorry isn't called "a lorry", it's "a truck", and a "juggernaut" is a "road train". On the food front there were even more examples, the items called "sweets" in England are "lollies" here. The list of differences is very long.
I will always remember the time we went out with a "dinky di Aussie bloke" (see I did pick up the lingo!). He was the first real Australian friend we made and we thought he was very special. His name was Phil. The problem was when he was talking we did not know, for about the first three months, what he was saying.
For example, we were out driving one day and my husband was behind the wheel receiving directions from our Aussie mate. "Chuck a uwie" he said. Of course, we had no idea what Martian language he was using or what it meant so we drove on. "Chuck a uwie" he exclaimed again, "A what?" we said in unison, "What does that mean. Sorry mate we're English".
"You Poms have no idea", he said, "It means turn the car around". "Why didn't you say, we thought you spoke English," we retorted laughing. It was so funny, and Phil loved having a pair of raw Poms to educate, especially as we lapped it up.
My husband and I had instances like this for months. Even recently someone picked me up for using the word "glad". "You must be English" she said, "Glad is so quaint, we say 'pleased' here". I'd been in the country over 30 years by this stage!
This is the key to developing confidence as a migrant woman. Go and find people who are willing to teach you what you want and need to know. Do not try to fit in, through silence or staying in the background.
The more skills you have in understanding the culture, the language, the idioms, etc. the more your confidence will grow. Rest assured there are enough migrant women here who've had to learn all this. You'll always find people who understand.
If you don't speak English try an English class, they are in many major centres. Alternatively, find a volunteer to teach you. One of my friends teaches English to a non-English speaking Muslim woman who arrived in the country as a refugee. Both are blossoming in the process.
If you speak some form of English already – do your best to find friends, colleagues or neighbours who speak Australian and have lived here years.
We actually had to actively find people who weren't English, it seemed the English surrounded us. Nothing against the English! The trouble was that many of them were still living as if they were in England, still eating bangers and mash, putting roses and lawns in their gardens, and supporting English soccer teams. What had we moved to Australia for if all we were going to do was to keep living as if we were English?
We went out of our way to search out Aussies who'd lived here for years. Aussies who were proud of their culture. Aussies who would show us what people did here.
The result of this was that our first Christmas here was wonderful. We were invited round to a wonderful Australian family for Christmas day. It was eye-opening. They had ice-cream with their Christmas pudding, hey where we came from we only ever had hot custard, it snows in England at Christmas.
Then we had to "bring our bathers" (swimming costumes in England!). Apparently, the day would be spent in the pool. What? Christmas day in a swimming pool? That was novel, we'd barely go outside on Christmas day in England except wrapped up in heavy coats with gloves, scarves and hats on.
Also, the idea of a family having its own swimming pool in its back yard was something we'd never come across before or thought possible. How strange to have your own swimming pool. It was a different culture, wait until mum and dad back in England see these photos. It is different being a migrant.
I'm an Aussie now. So much so I hate someone saying "Oh you must be English", or "Where are you from" or "Are you from England?" I'm an Australian. So are all my wonderful friends who started life in another country, whether we are from Thailand, Singapore, Burma, or Norway, we are all Australian.
Having the courage and interest to learn the language and the culture, (multi-cultural as it is) really boosted my confidence skills. What mattered, though, was not just learning formal English but learning the local usage.
Learn from the locals. While you learn you will also be building your confidence. It could make all the difference to how you feel about yourself too.
Written by Rachel Green. Professional Speaker | Trainer | Coach | Author.
A migrant from Britain in 1977.
Rachel is the author of the 2 CD set, "Confidence for women in social situations". You will hear amazing interviews with a number of Australian women from a variety of backgrounds, including Greek South African, Ukrainian, Polish, British and Pakistani. Click here to get your copy now.
She can also provide "Sparkling with confidence" workshops or speeches, for your group, organisation or conference.
Copyright Confident Woman Australia, 2010.
NB: Any information contained on this site is not provided as an alternative to the obtaining of professional advice from an appropriately qualified practitioner.
Editor
Reader Comments (3)
Learning the language doesn't have to be terribly hard work or frightening but it is good to have a good sense of humour and to be relaxed about any difficulties you have.
Mum was stuck at home and wasn't working and she taught herself to read English, and she bought our first house on her own, all within 6 months of being here.
Michelle Denise
http://www.egobucket.com
What is important is that you contribute your life to the country. Don't just live your life here. Contribute your life to the country. Don't just stick together in your own community.
Jane Cummins
Martin Fields Beach Retreat
However my acting is definitely improving and so are my hand gestures. I am learning that I have to think and be very “open” to the culture in order to absorb it, and I guess others see this as a more positive intention to communicate. Learning to tango is simply wonderful.
I really miss not working and it is a real project, learning how to survive and stay positive when you are in a big city with no friends and acquaintances.
It is working out the timing and specific things in a day which keep me positive.
Thank God for the internet too, and modern technology and its benefits to communication, is truly wonderous.
It makes the day when I receive your newsletter, and my friends love your jokes.
Besos (kisses, and Spanish greeting)