My self concept made me a workaholic
When I was in my forties I had a big slap in the face in terms of my self concept.
I had for years tried to stop working so hard. I had logged my times. I had given myself rewards. I had taken up other activities. I had promised myself faithfully to work less and play more.
Every time I failed and I returned to working longer hours than was healthy.
I could not work out why. I was disheartened. I felt a failure. Little did I know that it had something to do with my own self concept.
Then along came midlife and a time to revaluate myself. I was pushed into this re-evaluation with a sense of a gloomy midlife crisis descending. I never thought I’d have one as I’d done so much personal development work. But I was wrong!
As a woman, in her 40s, I started asking, “Who am I?”
It led to many questions. What identity have I adopted during my life? Who did I think I was? What was my purpose in life? Where was I heading? I struggled with questions like these for many months.
One night it struck me. "You are a worker. You work so hard because your whole self concept has been built around an identity of being a worker." Yes! That was it. It hit me hard. I was astonished. I had not known this ever before.
I did not know when I had developed this self concept. I had not sat down at any stage to define my self concept. Indeed, I had never even thought about developing any self concept. It seemed to have developed itself.
Yet here it was, playing a huge role in my life.
I could not give up my out of balance life, because if I did, I would no longer know who I was.
If I weren't a worker, I would be nothing.
As I tell you this, it seems so straightforward now. At the time it was a revelation. I had no idea!
What is your concept of self? What role do you identify with the most strongly? Wife? Mother? Business woman? Artist? Sister? Receptionist? Gardener? Sex object? Leader? Dentist? Nurse? Lover? Mother-in-law? Career woman? The possible list is very long.
Do you know what is top of your list?
Once I knew I had such a limiting self concept I set about developing a self concept that was much healthier. I expanded my self concept. I developed a broader view of myself and added in other elements.
As I did this, reducing my working hours came far more easily to me. I have never looked back.
Being over forty is often a time when we need to re-evaluate and ask ourselves "Who am I now?"
Have you re-evaluated your self concept recently?
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