The self-confidence to dance alone

The self-confidence to dance alone was something I experienced recently. After I had danced my heart out, and had a brilliant time, I reflected on where the self-confidence to do this had come from.

I identified at least three factors that promoted it. I will describe these in the hope that you will also be able to have the self-confidence you need.

First though, what happened on the dance floor?

I received an email from a musician I knew telling me that she and her band were playing at a venue near me. One of the members of her band happened to be someone I really admired, an absolutely ace banjo and guitar player I had followed since he was 15 years old. (He is now 50.)

I asked my husband what he thought of going and I found he was keen to go along, so we went.

When we got there the band was playing some great music to dance to. My body was tapping and swaying straightaway. I love to dance! I don't mean a formal dance just a free flow movement to music. The music moves me.

My husband, like so many Australian males, didn't want to dance. No one else I knew there wanted to dance. In the end I walked on to the dance floor and danced. On my own.

Five ways to have the self-confidence to dance alone.

 1. The self-confidence to dance alone: Don't care what people think.

When I was thinking about dancing on my own a number of emotions arose, including embarrassment, awkwardness and feeling stupid. I realised these came from the notion that I would make a fool of myself, and that this idea was based on a concern about what others would think of me.

I looked at the others in the audience and thought, do they care what I think of them? Some are drinking heavily, I'm not a drinker, do they care what I think of them? No! So why would I care what they think of me?

They're not dancing. Do I think they're wasting their lives? Do they care what I think of them not dancing? No, not at all.

If they don't care what I think about what they're doing why should I care about what they think?

In the end, I found the self-confidence to dance alone by letting go of any concerns about what others thought of me. I was going to dance anyway.

2. The self-confidence to dance alone: Remind yourself of the benefit.

It was much easier to have the self-confidence to dance alone when I remembered how good it was going to be for me. The physical exercise involved would boost many aspects of my health. I have a history of reduced bone density. Dancing could be of enormous benefit in helping to keep my bones strong. When I ran through the benefits to me of dancing, the self-confidence to dance alone came far more easily.

3. The self-confidence to dance alone: Compliment the musicians.

I have many friends who are musicians. It can be an empty feeling to be playing brilliant music to an audience who doesn't respond. I thought of this and realised that the musicians would be delighted to have someone enjoy their music.

The self-confidence to dance alone also came as a form of appreciation and acknowledgement of the musicians. I thought "I could make their day".

What happened next to my self-confidence?

I had danced for quite a while and I was surprised to find that my self-confidence had inspired others. Another woman danced on her own and came up and thanked me for dancing. Someone else came up and congratulated me on being such a good dancer - most unexpected. A third woman asked where I got all my energy from.

Having the self-confidence to dance alone inspired others. You could do the same.

Written by Rachel Green.  Professional Speaker | Emotional Intelligence and Engagement Specialist | Confidence Coach.

Rachel is the author of the 2 CD set: "Confidence for women in social situations". Whether you are alone or in the company of others, learn how to gain confidence in your life. Obtain your copy of "Confidence for women in social situations".

Rachel also has an entertaining, educational and expert speech: "Sparkling with confidence". Book her for your next event now: rachel@confident-woman.com.au

Copyright Confident Woman Australia, 2011.
NB: The information contained in this article is not provided as an alternative to obtaining professional advice from an appropriately qualified practitioner. Please seek the help you need for your self-confidence.