Audience stars in managing anxiety

Many people who are nervous about public speaking are often, in my experience, self-conscious. One step towards successfully managing anxiety is, therefore, to take the focus off yourself and to put it where it belongs, on the audience.

When I am presenting to an audience I do not stand there worrying about myself. I don’t even think about myself. I don’t watch myself. It would make me anxious if I did.

Whom do you focus on when you are public speaking? Is it on yourself? If so, what effect does this have? Does it make you more or less nervous?

Instead of focusing upon yourself, e.g. what to do with your hands, whether you are going to go blank, or on whether you’re standing correctly, worry about the audience. Well, in fact, don’t worry about them at all, engage them.

The job of every public speaker is to engage their audiences, to inspire their audiences, to inform their audiences. Everything public speakers do is for their audiences. The audiences are there, after all, for their own benefit.

It makes sense, therefore, to put your whole attention on the audience and not on yourself. Take your attention outside yourself. Reach out to the audience. Greet the audience. Meet the audience.

I mean this in a psychological and emotional sense, not a physical sense. And I find it easier to do this when I don’t stand behind a lectern or hide behind a table. When there are no barriers between my audience and myself I find it easier to be with them and engage them.

The more attention you give to the audience the less you are worrying about yourself. The more attention you give yourself the more likely you are to be nervous.

If you focus on the audience, you are doing what the audience is doing. In spite of everything, the audience is most concerned about themselves. They sit there wondering how they are going to cope with all the new e-mails that will arrive while they are there, they wonder whether they will get back in time to pick up the kids, they are anxious in case they cannot keep up or they have to do something humiliating or embarrassing.

In my presentation skills training course I actually ask people whom they are thinking of when they are making their way to the course and even while they are sitting there in front of me.

I ask people to put up their hands if they were worrying about me. Inevitably hardly anyone ever puts their hands up! On the very rare occasion that someone does, when I’ve questioned her some more, the focus has been on, “What will Rachel make me do?” In other words her focus is still on herself.

I find it quite funny really to realise just how self centered an audience is. So what am I worrying about myself for? They are more worried about when the toilet break or tea break is!

You can, therefore, forget yourself and focus on the audience.

Make then feel welcomed, ensure they are comfortable, reassure them, have eye contact with them, interact with them, make the speech relevant to them, and so on.

When you take the focus off yourself anxiety will lessen. Too much self-focus kills confidence and makes managing anxiety even harder. When you focus on the audience everyone benefits.

How do you do this? You monitor where your mind is. Have you started noticing what you’re doing with your hands? Then your focus is on yourself. Are you noticing the people in the audience who are smiling and smiling back? Then your focus is on the audience.

Do you feel as though you are talking personally to the people? Or are you trying to remember the script in your head? The first is an audience focus, the second is self focus.

Are you trying to get it all over with as quickly as possible? In which case, you are self-focused. Or are you helping the audience to enjoy and understand your material and facilitating their learning? If so, your focus is an audience focus.

Do you get defensive when the audience asks a question? If so, you are focused on yourself. Alternatively, do you help the audience understand when they ask a question and encourage them to seek clarification? If so, you have an audience focus.

Next time you speak in public notice where you place your attention. When you feel it is on you then slip into excellent anxiety management and return to paying the audience full attention. They’ll love you for it.

Who or what do you pay most attention to?

Written by Rachel Green. Speaker | Trainer | Coach | Author.

There are so many more things you can learn about managing anxiety when public speaking. Rachel is the author of "Overcome the fear of public speaking - forever".  Click here to obtain your copy.

Copyright Confident Woman Australia, 2009.

NB: Any information contained on this site is not provided as an alternative to the obtaining of psychological advice from a duly qualified practitioner.

Comments

[Michelle Denise]

At high school I was anxious about public speaking. One day I had to give a speech on Anzac Day and I was so frightened I blacked out. I had no idea that I had spoken nor what I had said. This anxiety about public speaking stayed with me through my life until my partner encouraged me to read poetry. He said to pick a person in the audience who was smiling or appeared empathic and to look at this person as I spoke. When I first went to read a poem I looked at a woman in the audience who seemed friendly. She started to cry. "Oh no! Does this mean I have done well or done badly?" I asked myself. Fortunately she told me "It really moved me." I had done well! Once people started being moved by my readings I realised I had something to say and what I had to say wasn't going to be denied.

Michelle Denise.
http://www.egobucket.com

[Andrea Hills]

90% of people look forward to hearing what you have to say. This realisation took me from a nervous, green speaker at the age of 22 to one who years later now, really enjoys the opportunity to speak and communicate information to people. (But it didn't take long to get there). I really want to give them something useful to go away with. Its a privilege.
Andrea.